Starting over. It's never to late to begin again.

I have two children. My daughter is 22 and has lived on her own for several years. My son will graduate this year and move away to go to college in the fall thereby leaving my husband and I alone together for the first time in 23 years. Maybe it's because of the major change that is about to happen to us, maybe it's just because I am getting older, whatever the reason I really want this new year to turn out well. In order for that to happen there are some things that I plan to do to ensure we start off on the right foot. I'm writing this hub to let you know what I'm going to do. If you find any ideas you like feel free to borrow them and adjust them to fit your own needs.

Several years ago my husband and I experienced some relationship issues that caused me to seek the help of a professional counselor. During one of my sessions the counselor instructed me to write down all of the things that my husband had done over the years that had upset me and caused me to resent him. Then I was to take the paper and either tear it up, or burn it. She stressed the fact that once I had written the incidents down I was not supposed to reread the paper because writing everything down released it from my subconscious and if I reread what I had written I would putting the information back into my brain where it would sit an fester. If I didn't read the paper I would be rid me of my deeply held resentments forever.

Now honestly I have to tell you that I was a little ticked off. I had just paid her $100 and she tells me to burn a piece of paper? She was supposed to be a counselor not one of those palm reading psychics. But skeptical as I was I went home and did exactly what she told me to do, and you know what? It worked. I don't know how, I don't know why, I just know it worked and helped me to let go of some of the old baggage I had been carrying around with me for years. Thoughts that had once dominated my mind were gone, it was like someone had come in and washed my brain clean. On December 31 I plan to sit down and repeat the exercise with everyone I have issues with and by doing so I hope to get rid of some of the garbage that has been affecting our relationships.

Let's face it, we've all done things that we aren't proud of. Whether it is something from yesterday or 10 years ago we've all done things that we regret and wish we could go back and undo. Unfortunately in life there are no do-overs, what's done is done and there is very little you or I can do to change things. What we can do, however, is forgive ourselves and stop letting our mistakes run our lives and define who we are.

Now I'm not saying that you need to forget what you did, what I'm saying is that you need to realize that you are a human being and human beings make mistakes. It's what we do with those mistakes that define who we truly are. If by your deeds, actions, or even non actions you hurt another individual then you need to do what you can to make amends, not to make yourself feel better, but to let the person know that you truly care about how your actions affected them.

Most importantly make the commitment to not repeat your actions. Learn from your mistakes-and move on.

I don't know about you but I know that I need to do some serious work on my finances. My husband and I are both lucky to have good jobs but we haven't been as responsible as we should have been. I don't think that I have reconciled my check book in at least 10 years. As a result we have paid hundreds, if not thousands of dollars over the years in bounced check fees or over limit charges. I just looked at one of my bank statements and it shows that I was charged almost $600 in fees over the last year. That same $600 could have been put into a savings account or used for something useful instead of lining the pocket of some bank official.

I absolutely refuse to pay one more unnecessary bank fee. I am making the commitment to keep track of all of my expenditures and activity in my accounts. I also am making the commitment to pay off my credit cards by February at the latest and once those card are paid off I won't use them again.

This will be the first year that I will actually sit down and write out my goals for the year. I know that others do it all the time, but I've never personally taken the time. I think I'm doing it now it's because my youngest graduates this year and leaves for college in the fall so it will be the first time in 23 years my husband and I will be alone.

Before you can set your goals for the upcoming year you have to take a realistic look at where you currently are. Sit down and make an honest outline of your personal, professional, financial, and social life. Next, write down where you want to go and where you want to be this time next year. Think about what you need to do to get from point A to point B and write down at least one thing that you have to do each month to move a step closer to your goal.

Remember that no goal is too big. The key is to breaking it into small, obtainable steps that you monitor and adjust along the way. And if by next year at this time you haven't quite gotten there-so what? At least you are moving in the right direction. The worst thing you can do is NOTHING. Your life is what you make it and if you aren't concerned about the direction that you are traveling then you really don't the right to complain when you arrive someplace you really don't want to be.

 I hope you find this hub helpful and consider doing one or more of the activities.